Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Query ideas

First off I'd like to thank everyone who has agreed to be a beta reader for me! If you'd still like to jump in on the action and read my novel, just let me know!
In the meantime, I've been working on my query letter. For those that might not know, a query letter is the first thing you send to a literary agent. It's like the blurb you see on the back of books or the cover flap. If its engaging enough the agent will  request to read more and then hopfully sign you and help you find a publisher. Below are my first two attempts at a query. I personally like the second one better, but I'd like to know what you think! Id both seem flat I'll just keep writing more! Please leave a comment and give me your opinion!
Attempt 1:
Growing up in the foster care system Rochelle thought she wanted a simple mundane life. Until she realized how lonely she really was once she met a few beautiful strangers who hint there might be more to her than she even knows. When Rochelle's past starts to literally follow her, she must decide if facing her past will be worth protecting her future.
Attempt 2:
Her father left her at birth to keep the family secret safe, but when 20 yr old Rochelle is found by others of their kind, a war is started. Growing up in the foster system all Rochelle ever wanted was a plain normal life. After two strangers walk into her life she begins learning the truth of who and what she really is, a tempus viator, or time traveler. With her estranged father hunting for them, Rochelle and her newfound friends must work together to protect their abilities as well as the future of mankind.